Commit to the bit

Learn what Chicken Shop Date, Chef Matty Matheson, and romance novelist Jen Comfort have in common. Also we're doing a NEWSLETTER EXCLUSIVE GIVEAWAY.

Tender, Thirsty, Ambitious is a bimonthly-ish newsletter from romance author Rosie Danan about savoring the good stuff, looking respectfully 👀, and building a creative practice that embraces unapologetic striving.

Volume 10, Week of May 1, 2024

*Author’s note: Welp. I learned this winter that I don’t know how to write a newsletter while on deadline. Over the past few months, every time I felt there was an hour or two I could carve off to write a newsletter I immediately felt guilty that it would mean “free time” that wasn’t time going into the manuscript.

I aggressively do not want this newsletter to be a (nother) thing I feel guilty about so I decided to wait until I could write to you from a different mindset. In May, we finally made it, fam. I’m gonna work on this going forward but want to be open with you about my struggles to show up consistently in your inbox.

TENDER– savoring the good stuff

grateful for Chicken Shop Date

Even if you don’t know YouTube celeb interview series, Chicken Shop Date, by name, you have probably seen this video of its host Amelia Dimoldenberg, flirting with Andrew Garfield on the red carpet.

If you haven’t seen the video (or even if you have) you should watch it right now. This is the “armpit” photoshoot their referencing btw. (You’re welcome.)

After you watch the above video, you should also watch them being reunited on this second red carpet which is even better.

A move like this is only legal if you’re British.

I could write an entire newsletter dissecting just these three minutes of interaction, but I’m not gonna do that. Although I do have to say that I recently learned while watching these videos for serotonin on my own time, that apparently Andrew Garfield flirts with everyone? I don’t recommend that YouTube video, but it is my source, so I’m as a professional I’m including it.

Anyway, back to Amelia and her YouTube show and why I think it’s so great. (This newsletter is very stream of consciousness because I dictated it on my phone). Amelia is exceptional at flirting and she does it in a very particular—sort of calm?—way, which is really interesting to me!! Like she doesn’t usually appear to get super flustered, which is not something I can relate to at all. Would love to know what that’s like. I think especially being able to interact with celebrities, who are simultaneously known for being intimidating and guarded, in this way is very unique and appealing. All the interviews she does are delightful but some of my fave chemistry pairings are her and Jennifer Lawrence (Amelia does a great job of bringing out celebs humanity and making them seem relatable even though their super rich and incomparably beautiful and talented etc). She is magic with Keke Palmer and even manages to meet the majesty of Cher.  

I also did recently watch the one with Matty Healy because I’ve been listening to the new Taylor Swift album(s) and I realized I had never heard that man speak or seen him move and I was curious since so many of the songs are ALLEGEDLY about him. Again, I can’t explicitly recommend that you watch this video so I’m not gonna embed it, but I think it’s good to see Amelia navigating the situation and also have a frame of reference for a man who hates himself to near uncharted levels when listening to TTPD.

Some things that I love about Chicken Shop Date in no particular order:

• It makes me think of London, which I love and miss and will probably never get over. They love chicken sandwiches over there so much, you guys.  

• Amelia wears fun clothes that kinda make her look like a Bratz doll which I mean as a huge compliment.

• It’s fun to see celebrities flirting because I think this is some thing that they are not normally doing in front of us as themselves. I like to know who has charisma outside of a character and then who is maybe more awkward.

• French fries are a flirty food! 1. You eat it with your hands 2. It draws attention to your mouth (yes, that is a Clueless reference) 3. They are vaguely phallic.

I honestly do not watch a lot of YouTube. I’m not really sure why I just don’t. It’s like podcasts—an entire media format that I’ve not embraced even though I know that there’s a lot of really cool, interesting content there. But I think what works for me so much about this show’s format, and what I have noticed overlaps with other YouTube videos that I’ve enjoyed is they take a particular skill of the host and then put them in a situation that really allows them to show that skill off in a way that if you put someone else in that exact situation, they would not succeed to the same extent.

I’m not trying to say that Chicken Shop Date is a better celebrities-eating-chicken-interview-show than Hot Ones but I am positing that you could put a different host into the Hot Ones format and it would not dramatically change the entertainment value. What do you think?

Grateful for this yoga class I signed up for and have to leave for in about 30 minutes

*Author’s note: I wrote the bulk of this newsletter last night and am editing now but I did in fact attend this class and it was very nice.

You guys I’m so nervous. I’m going to do a community activity in my new neighborhood for the first time. Yes, I’ve been here for over four months, please don’t mention that. Also, I’m gonna do a sport. One I haven’t done consistently in probably a year? Maybe longer? I’m gonna sweat in front of strangers! Because it’s 87° here—global warming, I assume.

I feel very vulnerable, but I know that this is one of those things that you feel really good about after, right? Right?!

The truth is: I want to be a part of something, generally. But also, more specifically, I want to find a sense of community outside of writing. Not because I don’t love you guys—I DO. But I would like to see people in person sometimes, and also to be able to do an activity that can in no way be classified as my job.

I also find yoga a particularly beneficial movement experience because I used to think of exercise as punishment, and yoga doesn’t feel that way to me. It forces me to be still which is not something that I excel at unless you count when horizontal, but I think they’re different.

THIRSTY – looking respectfully 👀 

If you’re not familiar with Matty Matheson from watching The Bear, you should do that. (I’m sorry for being so bossy with content I just want you to have a nice time.)

In addition to being an actor and producer on the show, he is a chef, restauranteur, cook book author, and also has a delightfully chaotic YouTube series. Also he always captions his Instagram posts in all caps because I just think that he is genuinely excited and grateful about being alive.

I kept this screenshot of his post for his wife’s bday on my desktop for like a year because I think it’s really romantic and I want to channel this energy into my writing <3

Matty was on Top Chef recently and he almost couldn’t manage to be critical of any of the contestants because he is so pure of heart!! He was like “this is really hard and you guys are really smart and creative and I don’t wanna tell you there’s anything wrong with what you set out to do” anyway I watch a lot of reality competition shows and you really see that kind of acknowledgment of the participants humanity.

#handsome man is handsome #i’m in my tattoo era I guess #he has a mullet which makes me furious but in a horny way #kind eyes: my kryptonite #hands #I’ve seen him eat a chicken sandwich in a way that suggests a certain vigorousness that you can extrapolate upon if you want

AMBITIOUS – unapologetic creative striving

JEN COMFORT + a newsletter exclusive GIVEAWAY !!!

If you haven’t heard me talk about Jen Comfort before, I’m surprised, because I love yelling about her both as a human being (great) and as an author (great). I first found out about Jen when she tagged me in a social media post because some trade pub (maybe Publisher’s Weekly?) reviewed her debut The Astronaut and The Star as “perfect for fans of The Roommate.”

It is at least somewhat narcissistic to say I read and loved that book and Jen’s incredible follow up, Midnight Duet, so much I made her be my friend and she recently released another wonderful book that I have an extra copy of so IT CAN BE YOURS if you keep reading!!

I could tell you what I love about WHAT IS LOVE? her Jeopardy-inspired romcom but it would be quicker to just show you this blurb where I already wrote it out.

Please also see my comment for proof of my brand consistency

Jen is the queen of bonkers concepts executed in a really individual way and her brand is basically “horny bisexual nerds in outrageous situations.” (Jen did not pay me for that official positioning statement.)

My favorite thing that Jen consistently delivers on an author is something I’ve been thinking about a lot from an artistic perspective: she commits to the bit. IMHO committing to the bit requires bravery. It means that you are not holding anything back. You’re not afraid to look silly or over-the-top. You let the passion you have for something or someone come across without knowing how it will be received.

Now that I look at it: commiting to the bit is the theme of this newsletter.

Amelia and Matty are also examples of this approach. I think committing to the bit is something the romance genre desperately needs more of—always but especially right now when there is a whole tide pushing for romance novels to be more palatable to the masses. I probably don’t need to get into this whole thing, but I think in a lot of ways, a desire to be commercially successful makes people afraid to lean into romance stereotypes in their work and promo. Stereotypes like: romance is “overly horny.” Romance novels are “not realistic”. Romance novels are “saccharine”. And I guess what I’m trying to say right now is, WHAT OF IT???

What if I told you I made something unapologetically horny, unrealistic, and earnestly sentimental ON PURPOSE. (Is that a Pokémon evolution of saying ‘tender, thirsty, ambitious’?)

Anyway, Jen’s books are all great and WHAT IS LOVE? is my fave so far. If you want to win a copy of it along with a copy of DO YOUR WORST that I will sign if you would like, please comment on this newsletter with your favorite ‘commit to the bit’ either person or piece of art so that we can all have more of “the most” in our lives.

HOUSEKEEPING

No housekeeping this week this newsletter is already too long!